OOOoooo, I can't decide on one thing exclusively...

~ Launching the beta of my sweet&neat new website, wathing all of you use it, seeing it grow and remembering what synchronicities brought me to work on it!

~ Rehearsing with my friends' band, singing my lungs out, making sweet music and rock'n'roll-ing, baby!

~ Spending time with the people I love

~ Making new friends here on Zaads and on the Internets, making connections, sharing ideas, creating a free world

~ Learning new techniques, expanding my knowlege, creating new stuff,  meeting new clients!

~ Not knowing whats ahead

~ Being present

~ Letting go and letting Love in!

Nature. The Sky. The Ocean. Pure, almost untouched places where time doesn't exist and serenity is infectious.

That few minutes before I fall asleep, especially while I'm still excited about the day that has passed, and wish tomorrow would start right away!

For the Good.

I always get my armor on during rough times and become a rock, but last week I suddenly got so childishly frightened by getting the second needle at a hospital, that my veins got shy and went nowhere to be find.
The nurse poked and poked both my hands before she called a technician to help her. They asked me what's wrong but I smiled and said i have no idea. He managed to get the injection in, and I went out with 10 stings and a newly developed allergy reaction on my skin. I knew my fear developed it all, but was totally surprised by it.
And then in the waiting room, was a girl with Down's syndrome who told me she was scared, too, but they found her veins. I loved the way she saw how puzzled I am with my reaction, and wanted to help me. We talked and I realized this girl embraced her fear and turned it into her - well, cuteness! In the next examination room I fully accepted I was scared and guess what happened to the fear? Vanished before my closed eyes!

So it was a triple surprise: fear getting to me, an unexpected teacher, and  - learning to accept so it would transcend!

When a toddler calls me "mommy!" out on the street.
When I blink to the passing cars, warning them the police patrol is on their way, and the people driving wave at me.
When a bunch of schoolchildren say "Hello" to me passing by, all at once.
Taking a walk right after the rain has stopped.
When we have tomato sauce for lunch.
When I relax and manage to stay in "bear" yoga posture longer than before.
When my nieces stand on the first step and yell upstairs at me "auntie djurrrdjicaaaaa!"
A new lipstick.
When my honey lifts me up for no reason and twirls me.
When the sun shines through my window drapes in the morning.
When I see a comet, and manage not to scream "woooohoooo!"
The first melon that summer.
Freshly picked tomatoes.
When I lay by the fire, listening to someone slowly playing guitar.
When I look at fireworks.
When I get out of the car after a long ride to the sea coast.
When I feel the salty sea water for the first time that year.
When I listen to the waves in the afternoon.
When I inhale the smell of home after I've been away for a while.
When we make strawberry jam, and I'm squeezing them with my hands to get the juices going.
The smell of paint of all kinds.
The way my younger niece calls ma boyfriend "Bubi", instead of "Bugi"
When I see a happy old man walking slowly in the middle of the busy streets.
A first coffee in the morning.
When I stumble and fall and it makes everyone laugh.
Gummy bears!
When I manage to sing the whole end of White Rabbit in 1 breath.
When someone diggs my blog post.
Fruit salad.
When I run into a bunch of birds on a square.
My boots - clean.
Listening to my honey's heart.
The way street lights make light circles in the trees at winter night.
Making footprints in the snow.
Landing a snowflake on your tongue.
Lying under a Christmas Tree!
Pretending, imaging the most amazing things while playing with a child.
Pretending I'm Carrie Bradshaw while out for the first time in my new anything.
Stumbling as I get a wee bit superficial.
Reading a poem and understanding it.
Making friends with my friends' friends.
Slide my head under the water in a bathtub and listening to sounds in the house and in my body.
Swimming on my back, watching the clouds and birds and airplanes.
Riding my bike after my man and passing him by, showing my tongue.
Saying hello to people with my funny bike horn.
Going out on a Saturday night, all dressed up, and flirting with my honey.
Going out on an unplanned night, all dressed down, and having a blast.
Waking up in a tent, knowing we still have 3 more days by the lake.
Eating a strawberry ice-cream on a hot day.
Walking barefoot over a soft morning grass.
Getting out of the sea, sitting down on a hot rock to dry.
Sharing a laugh with a random woman in the ladies room.
Getting a drink for someone you know across the bar, him lifting the glass up to you. Bonus happiness if that person needed an evidence they exist that very night.
Giving a piece of advice to a youngster and they get it.
Walking through the woods in the Autumn.
Walking through the woods in the Winter.
Walking through the woods in the Spring.
Riding a quad through woods in the Summer.
Sunday soup full of vegetables.
Tomato soup.
An in control flying dream.
Smelling a perfume I had eons ago.
Funny photos of my friends and me.
A misunderstanding that end up in all parts laughing.
When my pop corns turn out perfect.
The beginning of a movie.
The end of a book.
Videos like this:






Answering a good Q&A, and other little things that won't pop in my head anymore because I saw how I've been writing this...

This little girl (my niece Danijela, obsessed with Gandalf and Harry Potter) recently told her granny (my mom, also pictured) that she was going to be the ruler of the world when she grows up, and that all the good people will also be rulers, and there will be no more bad people at all.

So what I learned is, that the future is bright! Even 4-year-olds know that!

I wish that no child suffers in any way because of someone else's unconscious behavior ever again.


photo: Steve McCurry, Afghan Girl

Instead of gaining, I would now pick losing the need to be right. Ever.

Those spring evenings when I would walk home from school, walking slowly and zig-zagging like kids do, not wanting to arrive home soon because it feels soooo good to just BE in this fresh air, inhaling with deep breaths, looking up in the sky for the first star to show, smiling for nothing, looking forward to everthing.

The blue basin that my mom used to bathe me in. I remember what it felt like on my skin, under my feet, the plastic and the way I enjoyed the water. I was maybe two or three years old.
I also remember eating my bottle on the kitchen sofa. I remember the feeling of warm bottle, the taste of baby food (because I still eat it!). I was maybe 3, if I held my own bottle, I guess. We have a wooden ceiling in the kithen, and as I would eat lying down, I would look at the wood pattern's shapes, and imagined pictures and whole stories around them. My then 6-year-old sister would always sit next to me because she couldn't let go of her baby bottle (that was now mine), and waited for me to finish so she could ask mom to give her a bottle of baby food, too!